Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Title suggestions+comments on for this poem?

It's a little discreet. I understood your concept for the most part, but like you probably know, everyone pictures something different. It's not a bad poem but it could use some work. I'd maybe have shorter stanzas to make it more dramatic. Use stronger words; like instead of "I gasp for air." I'd say something like "I'm drowning...."

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