Do you ever hear yourself speaking...?

Do you ever hear yourself speaking and think....'OH NO...this is why it's so hard for me to maintain friendships, and why people have to repeat themselves and often treat me like I'm 5 years old?' And you proceed to finalize concrete plans of shooting yourself in head after ingesting a bunch of tranquilizers because it's too much to bear. You hear yourself fumbling over words and going UUUUIuuuuuuhhhhhh, I mean, I'm sorry, I mean, 20 times a minute and you know that it's pathetic? Do you ever find yourself unable to recall what you already knew? Can you empathize at all?