I am desperate!! Difficult nephew!! I can't cope!!?

I think getting to the core of the problem is key. Counseling may help ... him and you. He is very young and i am sure and bad treatment is the cause of his behavior. He is in his own way protecting himself ... he does not want to be hurt by anyone else. However he also needs to understand that you are "the boss" and respect that. If you have any information about what happend to him in the home of your sister that will help you maybe determine how to counteract the behavior he is displaying. I do have a question for you.... is Ben ever behaved or does he show some type of emation towards you other than anger?